Thursday, September 2, 2010

Fat Girl

I am a fat girl.  That's right, I am morbidly obese.  I have been overweight for most of my life.  A lot of this comes from having PCOS and also from giving up hope.  I was okay with putting my head in the sand and pretending that I was happy and confident with my size.  I wasn't.  I took metformin and the BC Yaz and worked out and ate right for almost 3 years and lost 50 pounds, great right?  I got off of the meds for money reasons and in 4 months had it all right back on.  At that point I decided that it was war.  It was time for me to fight harder and get help.  I decided to get a lap band.  I called them about two weeks ago to start getting information and started to discover a new hope building in me.  A hope that one day I might not have to be embarassed while eating in public (even if it is a salad) or worried that my kids would be made fun of at school for having a fat mom and most of all I would feel confident and proud of myself when my husband announces to people that he has the sexiest wife instead of the feeling I get now when he says that.  (he must be blind with love!)  In short it was time to just do it.

My husband and I had a long dicussion and looked over all the budgets and decided that we could make it work and pay for the surgery.  I decided that since my insurance considured it a cosmetic surgery (gripe about that on another post) and would not cover it that I would use the same clinic that a couple of my friends have used.  I am going through Dr Ortiz's clinic I have researched them and know people that have used them and feel that it is safe and most of all affordable.  The website is great and they even have a forum that is helpful, motivating and fun to read.  They even assign you a consultant that has already been through the process and helps guide you on the journey.  And a journey it will be.

After calling and getting the info I set a date.  I am tired of waiting to lose weight so I decided to set the date for end of October.  This gave me 7 weeks to get ready.  I filled out the survey and paperwork and then had my phone conference with the nutritionist.  She was very nice but she gave me a bit of news that did not encourage me.  I was 348 lbs when I made my decision and my BMI is 56 which apparently is too high for surgery.  She told me that I needed to lose at least 30 pounds and get the BMI below 50 before my surgery.  I explained that it took me 3 years to lose that amount and how could I do it in 2 months.  She did not budge and I decided I need to give it my best.  I am going to email her my weight, food and activity log every week and hope that she at least sees that I am working hard and take that into considuration if I don't make my goal. 

In order to try and make the goal I am doing a low carb diet with excersize.  I am drinking a 2 carb protien shake for breakfast and lunch and eating green veggies and a lean protien for dinner everyday.  Dr. Miranda told me to take Chromium Piculate and fiber pills to help too.  I have been and don't know yet if they are making a difference.  I will let you know.  For my activity I am starting out with walking 30 minutes a day and hope to keep adding.  Searching for an elliptical too but they are hard to find in my weight and price range.  Craigslist here I come. 

Well, i have rambled on a long time and I know that this site will never be viewed but I think it will help me on this journey and hopefully help others that might be fighting the same war that I am. 

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