- week

268.9

I have finally actually hit the 80 lbs loss mark!   I have been hovering around it for two months and I finally passed over.  Now knowing my body I might play footsie for a few more months but still I made it this far!  I am very excited and hope that I can continue this .5-1lbs weekly loss.  

So, I started taking ambien a few weeks ago because I just couldn't continue using Nyquil and simply sleep to try and knock myself out.  I was worried at first that I would start sleep eating like others on the medicine do but I guess taht since I am so careful during the day that deep inside my body knows that with the band I can't eat after a certain time.  Either that or it is the fact that my husband does most of the cooking and I am lazy in my sleep.  Anyways, since there is a proven sleep action thing with ambien I have been thinking of my eliptical each night before I nod off to dreamland in hopes that I could start doing my workouts in my sleep.  No such luck!!!!!! It seems that my body really is lazy while sleeping and refuses to suck it up and be the grown up in this team.  Oh well!!!!

Week in evaluation:

food:  Pretty good but could be way better  (I'm looking at you oreos!)

Water:  Really great!

Workouts:  TOM was my excuse this time. 

Mental:  I am still in a good place right now but I get frustrated sometimes because we are so busy and I can't just eat something quick or grab a sandwich so I get upset and then that makes it really hard to eat.

- Week

270.9

I am so happy to be back where I was before my Grandma died in december.  I wasn't even stress eating in the way that I did before my band.  Since my band I have noticed a different kind of stress eating.  When I get stressed out my band gets really tight and I can't eat anything so what do I turn to?  That's right, sliders.  However, instead of using broths, soups and protien shakes to feed my stressed out body I use ice cream, chips and anthing else that will slide right by.  It is so funny how I keep learning things even after a year.  The fat girl in me has adapted and mutated to fit it's current conditions!  I guess I need to watch her so she doesn't take over again. 

- week

273.3

I am done this week and back to what I was before the holidays. We have still not put or elliptical machine back up from christmas but all the running around I have been doing seems to be helping.  I am trying to be more observant about what is going in my mouth from liquid to solids and trying to keep it all on the up and up.  I am hoping that I can continue making the positive changes needed to continue in my loss and I know that it starts with the little things first.

Food- pretty good considuring I am on my period and only want to eat sliders

Water- I am back up to 4-5 glasses a day from like 1 so again small changes working back up to the 8.

Meds- all there all taken

Workouts- sigh, this is where I am a loser.  I only did one work out this week but it has also been a really bad period. 

Mental- doing pretty well right now.  Getting back into the non holiday groove and I am starting to actually try and wear clothes that fit instead of my old too big clothes.  So hard to kick that comfort of baggy non clingy clothes.



My Fitness Pal

I have a my fitness pal account and I hope that I keep up with it.  I have tried calorie counting websites before and just get so overwhelmed with the constant upkeep that I usually stop.  I hope that I can keep it up though.  At least just for tracking weight and excersise if nothing else.  I know I gotta do something to get off the plateau.  Also, I am going to add another ticker up top for my count down to my 100 mark!

+ weeks

277.4

Sigh, well it has been an off 3 weeks.  We have had 2 dealths in our extended family, I had strep and my husband now has staph in his leg and can barely walk.  This all adds up to stress, no excersize and eating slider foods that are fast and easy to cook (or not cook).  I gained most of the 5 pounds during the week that I had strep.  I don't know if it was the antibiotics, the lots of coughdrops and nyquil or all of the above.  Or only being able to eat cold smooth things for a few days.  Oh well.  I am hoping that once my husband gets well enough we can get my elliptical back into place (too heavy to move on my own) so that I can start working on my 2012 goal.

Week in evaluation:

Food: not good but not bad. 

Water: Bad.  I need to drink more

Meds:  All taken plus a few more

Mental:  I need to find out why I am so stressed out all the time and a way to fix that.

Goals

I really don't do new year's resolutions because they always seem to be doomed to failure but I do make yearly goals that I think about and know that they are attainable and make smaller goals to help keep me on path.  So here are my goals for this year.  Well, my weight loss goals anyways. 

1.  Post at least once a week on my blog and comment more on the ones I follow.  This is one that was sacrificed for time management reasons and I keep reading everyones posts but don't have time to comment or post my own.  I have noticed that when I made that time cut my motivation dropped too. 

2.  Reach my 100lbs lost goal.  I am two pounds from 80 now and so I am hoping that 22 lbs in 12 months is not too much to ask for but you never know.  I have my game plan set and my husband is still pushing me along so I am hoping to keep 2+ pounds a month loss.  I know that doesn't seem like much but those with PCOS know that every pound seems to take forever!

3.  Finish the couch to 5K program.  This is the big one.  I am still on week one for heavens sake!  I am still getting my knees and body acclaimated to running with this amount of fat on it.  For others the program is 9 weeks for me it will be much longer  but it is one that I can set mini goals and continue to work towards. 

4.  Be more open about my surgery.  I am still really private about my surgery to others but as the weight comes off and I am more comfortable with my results I am talking to people that I think are truely interested in my loss.  I still pish posh those that are just nosey but I am hoping that I can start helping others with wieght loss and knowing that they are not alone. 

5.  Stop seeing myself as a 350lbs woman.  Ok, so this one is a bit resolutionish but it really is an important goal for me.  I still see myself at my starting weight.  I don't try new things often and still check chairs to see if they can handle my butt.  It upsets my husband that I have not changed this point of view yet but I had it for 8 years so it is not like it will just go away.  I am going to try and work on this new perspective. 

I am looking forward to being held accountable to my new goals and will keep you updated.  I will also start commenting more on all of your posts too. 

Yaz Depression

I have never been one to be depressed and I have been on yaz before I lost weight since it is good for PCOS so I had no idea what hit me last month.  My doctor warned me that some women have issues mentally with YAZ but I let him know that I have used it before and was fine.  I explained that part before but it really was crazy.  Since my meds weren't delivered in time for me to start my packet for November I missed a month and I felt normal again.  A few days ago in prep for my period and starting my meds again I did a google search and when I typed Yaz the autofill put in depression.  This amazed, comforted and worried me all at the same time.  Amazed because, holy crap, it is that common.  Comforted because I did not in fact go crazy or emo and it worries me because I don't want to go through another month like that again.  Several people said that after a few months it goes away as your body gets used to the hormone so I am grateful for that and I will keep on it for a few more months.  I have only been on it for a few days and I am already starting to feel that darkness creeping in.  The up side this month is that I am prepared for it and that will make it easier to understand and accept.  Before it was so out of the blue I honestly didn't know what to do in life.  I was crying all the time, I felt like my life was crappy and I wasn't being the best mom or wife either.  I was just a huge mess.  I am posting this in hopes that anyone that is starting this pill and feeling the same way can see that it will be ok and that your life is not falling apart in front of you.  I have no idea why the meds are reacting differently this time around other than I am 80 lbs lighter but I do like yaz and it does help with a lot of my PCOS and PPMS problems.  Lets just hope Emo Des stays in hiding for the holidays.

I would like to know if any of you have had similar experiences with any meds and how you handled it.