Monday, November 4, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
I have been sick for the majority of this past year. I have had acid issues, soreness and a lot of vomiting. My band started at 6.5 cc and after finding a stateside doctor the would help me we started figuring out was was wrong. He had me do a scan and every thing looked perfect I had lost 100 lbs and all seemed well so we just took a little of my fill out thinking that when my gallbladder was removed that my body was producing more acid. This worked for about a month and then I was back to vomiting and not even able to drink liquid so the doctor removed another cc bring me down to 4.5. When I went in a month after that with the same issues he removed all fluid and said that the band needed a break. I wish I could say that I was perfect without the fluid but having only been eating jello and shakes for several months I went a bit buck wild crazy. Thinking of it as a vacation I wanted to try all the foods that I have missed over the past 2 years. Bread, sandwiches, meat, cake you name it. I still kept it in small meals but my body held on to ever Oz I ate and I gain 20 lbs. Told you the fat girl was still in there. I was mortified and went to the doctor begging to start testing the band again. He put in 4 cc and I was fine for a month and then it started back up. Nighttime vomiting, feeling like food was constantly stuck in my esophagus and not being able to eat much of anything. I quickly lost that 20 lbs but I mentally could not handle the nighttime torture anymore and called the doctor. He asked if I thought I needed another scan and I said no that it was just reflux so he took out a little of the fluid and I was hopeful until a week later when not only was I doing all of the above again but I was vomiting dark brown blackish stuff and starting to have pain on my left side. I went back in and he took more fill out and scheduled a scan for the next week. He didn't think it would be anything but was trying to see why after 2years my band was no longer healthy for me.
I went in for the scan Thursday morning and then waited for my appointment in the afternoon to discover what was going on. It was my worst nightmare. I have joined the 3 percent to of banded people that have a slipped band. Sometime between January and Thursday my band slipped and what he saw in the scans made him believe that my band was not save able and that he was going to be cleaning up dead stomach tissue. It broke my heart. He was so sweet about it and never blamed my other surgeon or me and just said that I needed to remember that bodies don't like foreign objects in it and will sometimes give up and start attaching the band. The whole time i am just trying to hold myself together until I can get out if the office and sob and wallow in the misery of having a failed band. I know I am not ready to try and lose weight in my own yet and knew I would be fat again. I sat in my car crying and texting my sister for almost 2 hours until mike found me and said we were going home. The prayer requests were sent and I was given a blessing that night. I was still heartbroken the morning of the surgery knowing I was losing my best weapon in my fight for weight loss. I started trying to make a plan for how I was going to make up for the band and trying so hard to see any bright side but was not successful.
It has been a rough few days for me emotionally. Lots of sobbing and moping and dreams of being over 350 again. I am 70 lbs from my goal weight and was heartbroken to hear that my band was slipped. At the same time it was great news because I have been sick for almost a year now and we finally started to pray not to be healed but to get an answer about why I am so sick. I went back for the surgery knowing I was in good hands and trying to be strong but failing. Next thing I know I am awake in the recovery room and they tell me that the band was repaired and that there was zero damage to my stomach. I know god had taken care of me and heard mine and the pleas of those I love asking to help me and keep me safe. I will be empty for at least one month while I heal and then I will start back up on my war. I am so close compared to when my scale could not even register my weight and I know I can make it. I just want to put this out there so if anyone else is having the same signs they know to not wait or push them off as being normal. If you catch it early enough your band and stomach can be saved but if you go too long your stomach tissue will die and you are in a worse situation. Keep well everyone and thank you for the prayers.
Monday, April 22, 2013
About my fitness pal....... I have a love hate relationship with that site. I love how easy it is to track what goes in my mouth but I hate that is shows me just how much snacking I do between meals. After about a week I realized that most of my food intake is not even meals! How crazy is that! I really am hoping that this fill is the sweet spot for now and that I don't have anymore crazy episodes of no food and water. Wish me luck!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
As happy as I am to be able to hold down food I am now going to need to be careful. I have gained 5 pounds in the 3 weeks since the unfill and I know it is because I am starting to snack and eat more all without working out. So as usual, it is back to the basics for this fat girl.
2. Food log
4. blog honestly
5. Eat smart and small bites.
I have a follow up appointment next week and I don't know if I will have an adjustment or not. I am still tight enough that I can't eat just whatever but I am loose enough that I am eating more than I should. Or is it that I am being the fat girl that can all of a sudden eat and wigging out. Let's see how the basics treat me.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Let's start with the good. My last post was about getting rid of the old clothes and making sure all the clothes in the closet were a correct size and not tents to hide in. Well, this leads to the good. I have been approached by so many people at work that have been commenting on how great I look and asking if I had lost weight. I am amazed to admit that my dear husband was correct in telling me that if I wore good fitting clothes I would look better and my 100lbs loss would be noticeable to more than him. (cause he sees me naked) It has also made me feel even better on the inside than I thought it would too. Why did I hold on to those old clothes for so long!?!?!?!?!
The Bad is that we had the flu in our house and it has put a huge kink in the works of my life. As I explained before I have not really worked out in a year. Well, I haven't routinely worked out. My husband and I decided that we would start training for a 5k this year and we would start working out at the first of the year. Little did I know that our house would be struck down to its knees. My oldest son was hit the worst since he had not had his shot yet and the others of us just got sick with different symptoms of it. This was last week and I can only pray that it does not come back to visit for the rest of the year.
The Ugly is mucus cement. Yeah, it is as gross as it sounds. I had my gallbladder removed about a month ago and since then I have had a sinus infection, nasal drainage and just anything you can think of that means my nose is runny. But not the kind of runny that can be blown into a tissue but this sort of constant not noticeable drainage that is killing my pouch. It got really bad about a week or 2 ago and I couldn't even drink water without purging it back up. When I would drink anything I could feel it just sit in there and it foam up and then I would start burping and then it would come back out all think and nasty. (I did warn you) It was also not allowing me to eat any food but Cheetos puffs because my pouch was clogged. Fearing a slipped band I got on the Internet and did a search on sinus drainage and lapbands and it turns out it is a common problem in the band world. The mucus sits in the pouch and becomes like cement and clogs everything up. It was bad for me because I was choking at night and puking 24 hours a day so after a week of very little sleep, no liquids or food I was ready to call the band and break up with it. I just didn't think I could make it anymore. My husband (always the knight) told me to be patient and that we would work together to get through it. He discovered that warm jello (don't add the cold water) went down and broke up the mucus so I could get both liquids and calories (as much as jello might have) and it helped so much. I have now graduated to soups and last night I slept the whole night without puking once. I am so praying that tonight will be the same and that I will graduate to solids soon. I am just hoping the worst has past because I don't know if I can do that again!
So that was my good the bad and the ugly story. I am sure my life will be filled with them but at least they keep it interesting.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Monday, December 17, 2012
As you can see from the title I have passed the 100 pounds lost mark. This took 2 years and was such a wonderful milestone to hit. For those of you that have read past posts you know that I hover at certain weights for a couple of months and then will drop 5-10 pounds and then hover some more. I hovered at the 90-95 pound range for like 3 months and it was getting old. Then I started getting sick and couldn't keep anything down and started having acid problems. Well, my mind went straight to a band slippage and I was terrified that I was going to have the band removed. During this time I kept getting closer and closer to the 100 mark and finally hit it. I also went to the doctor and was told I had gallstones. It turns out that a high weight loss can create gallstones and the symptoms feel like a slipped band too. I am now stone free and 100 pounds lighter. I added the bit about the gallstones just incase anyone else out there is having this issue and want answers. It hurt in my chest and right shoulder blade and I had huge reflux issues. Anything I ate or drank came back up within minutes of ingesting it. Go to a Doctor and get help if you have these symptoms. Better safe than sorry.
Now that I have gotten the good news out of the way I will update on the past year. I am still sucking it up on the fitness side of things. I was doing the couch to 5k late spring and then quit because of rain and heat. you know what happens after that....... lose the habit and desire to start back up. To help with this my husband and I have decided to train for the Color Run in our area next fall and will train all year for it. We are pretty excited and hopefully working as a couple will help push those cobwebs out and get me moving again. I am now off of all medications and feel great. Still being 247 pounds means that I am still obese but I am no longer morbidly obese. That was a big deal for me. I am now "just Fat" and not "crap, I am going to die" Fat. I finally got rid of the last of my pre surgery pants and I am now listening to my husband and replacing any other clothes that I wore 100 pounds ago. He says I need to accept that I no longer fit them and move on. It is harder to do that mentally than I thought it would be. I still worry about if I will fit in a seat or if something will break if I step on it. I still feel that 100 pounds mentally. I am getting better and have even started letting people take pics of me instead of hiding or making faces so that it is my humur they laugh at and not my fat.
I hope that everyone is still working hard on goals and that you forgive me for my silence. I promise to update more than once a year.