Saturday, September 28, 2013

Slipped band hell

I have been sick for the majority of this past year.   I have had acid issues,  soreness and a lot of vomiting.    My band started at 6.5 cc and after finding a stateside doctor the would help me we started figuring out was was wrong.   He had me do a scan and every thing looked perfect I had lost 100 lbs and all seemed well so we just took a little of my fill out thinking that when my gallbladder was removed that my body was producing more acid.    This worked for about a month and then I was back to vomiting and not even able to drink liquid so the doctor removed another cc bring me down to 4.5.   When I went in a month after that with the same issues he removed all fluid and said that the band needed a break.    I wish I could say that I was perfect without the fluid but having only been eating jello and shakes for several months I went a bit buck wild crazy.    Thinking of it as a vacation I wanted to try all the foods that I have missed over the past 2 years.   Bread,  sandwiches,  meat,  cake you name it.   I still kept it in small meals but my body held on to ever Oz I ate and I gain 20 lbs.    Told you the fat girl was still in there.    I was mortified and went to the doctor begging to start testing the band again.   He put in 4 cc and I was fine for a month and then it started back up.   Nighttime vomiting,  feeling like food was constantly  stuck in my esophagus and not being able to eat much of anything.    I quickly lost that 20 lbs but I mentally could not handle the nighttime torture anymore and called the doctor.    He asked if I thought I needed another scan and I said no that it was just reflux so he took out a little of the fluid and I was hopeful  until a week later when not only was I doing all of the above again but I was vomiting dark brown blackish stuff and starting to have pain on my left side.   I went back in and he took more fill out and scheduled a scan for the next week.    He didn't think it would be anything but was trying to see why after 2years my band was no longer healthy for me. 

I went in for the scan Thursday morning and then waited for my appointment in the afternoon to discover what was going on.    It was my worst nightmare.   I have joined the 3 percent to of banded people that have a slipped band.   Sometime between January and Thursday my band slipped and what he saw in the scans made him believe that my band was not save able and that he was going to be cleaning up dead stomach tissue. It broke my heart.    He was so sweet about it and never blamed my other surgeon or me and just said that I needed to remember that bodies don't like foreign objects in it and will sometimes give up and start attaching the band.  The whole time i am just trying to hold myself together until I can get out if the office and sob and wallow in the misery of having a failed band.  I know I am not ready to try and lose weight in my own yet and knew I would be fat again.   I sat in my car crying and texting my sister for almost 2 hours until mike found me and said we were going home.   The prayer requests were sent and I was given a blessing that night.   I was still heartbroken the morning of the surgery knowing I was losing my best weapon in my fight for weight loss.  I started trying to make a plan for how I was going to make up for the band and trying so hard to see any bright side but was not successful.

It has been a rough few days for me emotionally.   Lots of sobbing and moping and dreams of being over 350 again.   I am 70 lbs from my goal weight and was heartbroken to hear that my band was slipped.    At the same time it was great news because I have been sick for almost a year now and we finally started to pray not to be healed but to get an answer about why I am so sick.    I went back for the surgery knowing I was in good hands and trying to be strong but failing.   Next thing I know I am awake in the recovery room and they tell me that the band was repaired and that there was zero damage to my stomach.   I know god had taken care of me and heard mine and the pleas of those I love asking to help me and keep me safe.  I will be empty for at least one month while I heal and then  I will start back up on my war.   I am so close compared to when my scale could not even register my weight and I know I can make it.  I just want to put this out there so if anyone else is having the same signs they know to not wait or push them off as being normal.   If you catch it early enough your band and stomach can be saved but if you go too long your stomach tissue will die and you are in a worse situation.   Keep well everyone and thank you for the prayers.