Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Things that I am learning

So I was thinking while on the elliptical last night about all the things that I have learned in the past 4 weeks.  I know this list is going to get longer as I continue on this journey but Here is what I have right now.  It was going to be a list of 10 but it turned out to be 11. 

1.  It can scare people when you stare at all the bodies around you trying to pick out the new one you are going to have.  ( I am pretty sure the world now thinks I am bisexual at this point, cause I catch myself really looking hard to determine if I will look like that.)

2.  You can drink so much water that your urine is clear and races out of you like a waterfall every hour on the hour all day long. 

3.  If you miss a work out your body gets restless and you feel guilty for the whole day. 

4.  If you compromise even just a little on your plan you will find yourself with a bag full of fun size snickers in your mouth and another bag in your hand (hasn't happened yet but I know it will if I give it a chance)

5.  Fast food places do not cater to fat girls trying to loose weight.  Stick with sit down places they always have something.

6.  It will be an emotional roller coaster.  I don't know if it is the food withdraws, the stress, the workouts..... I just don't know what is causing this but I am up and down like a bipolar person.  Hopefully I will even out just a bit and be normal for the sake of my poor family.

7.  If you are as fat as I am losing 20 pounds won't drop you a pant size, help with moving or be noticeable to others.  It will however be noticeable to those who love you and make you feel like you have won a million dollars.

8.  You will come to terms with how you deal with food.  For me, it is like a drug (in my head I hear edward cullins) I crave it, I need it and I miss it.  I probably always will and know that this is a life long thing.  *sigh*

9.  Diet + Exercise not one without the other.  I would love to not workout but I have found that losing weight just doesn't work that way.  poor little fat girl.

10. Be honest with yourself.  I started keeping a food log, activity log and this blog to keep myself honest.  I knew if I did this blog under my own name that I would not be honest and I know that if I wasn't honest on my food log then I would just eat whatever and then look at the log and not know what happened.  I learned to just be honest about why I am fat and deal with it.

11.  You need a support group.  I was so afraid to tell my family but it has been so great for me.  My oldest son cheers me on and keeps me motivated when I am working out, my sister in law lets me pester her with everything, my other family and few friends keep me positive and most of all my husband does it all.  I would not be able to do this alone and it would never happen without him. 

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