- week

I know I am a few days early but I do not know when I will be able to post in the next week so I decided to go ahead and do my weekly weigh in.  As you can tell it was a losing week for me.  I am now at 309.6 lbs.  This is very good news but I still think I need to be doing more to help the loss.

1.  I need to drink more water-  I did up my water intake from last week but I am still a bit short from meeting my goal.

2.  Exercise-  Yup, need to do that

3.  I am eating smaller portions but I can still eat more than I should be able to but I am not letting myself.  It will be nice to get another fill so I don't feel hungry.

0 week

I officially weigh (cause we all hop on between weigh ins) every Friday and I am going to start posting results and what I think contributed to those results.  In the title of the post it will have "+ Week" if I gained,
 "- Week" if I lost and "0 Week" if I maintained the current weight. 

As you noticed by the title this week I did not gain nor did I lose any weight this week.  It was a little frustrating since I had a fill on Saturday and have been eating less and not many carbs but we all have weeks like this and we evaluate what happened, learn and then hop on the elliptical.  Here are my evaluations for this weeks results.

1.  Exercise:  Yeah, this is a big part of it.  I have been cleared to get of my butt and move for 3 weeks now and have been so busy with things I put higher in priority that it has just not happened.  Well, I guess it just got bumped up in priority and since my husband moved my elliptical machine where I can get to it I have no excuse.  I mean, I am sure I could come up with one but that does nothing but make my butt stay bigger.

2.  Water:  I am not drinking enough water.  I know this for a fact, I am only drinking about 30 oz of water a day.  I am still trying to figure out that whole no drinks 30 minutes before or after a meal thing and then I just forget to drink between meals.  Hopefully, I can get this under control.

3.  PMS:  Yeah, I will put some blame on my female cycle.  I normally gain weight around this time so I can only assume that the PCOS is factoring in a bit this week.  At least I didn't gain with it though.  That brings me to something else.  I am a few days late (not pg still cramping) and I am wondering if my fill messed with my body's timing.  So frustrating. 

So that is this weeks results and evaluation.  As they say in my sons chess club (yeah he is a nerd) I didn't win this week but at least I learned.

An Odd NSV

I have mentioned before that I have started using my kids plates and trying to plate my food like the little ones but usually we are seated at the table and everyone's plates are in their spots.  Last night we wanted to have a dinner and a movie thing with some Christmas shows.  I plated up everyone's plate and left them on the table for the kids to get and take to the living room while I got the show ready.  My daughter was confused she couldn't pick out which was hers and which was mine because they were not that different.  I only had a little more than she did so I went in there and gave her the correct plate.  I realized just how different my eating is now.  I no longer "need" a huge portion of food just because it tastes good.  I now eat (for the most part) what my body needs to function! That is a big Non- Scale Victory!!!!!!

First Fill

I had my first fill this past Saturday and it was so not what I was expecting!  I was really nervous the morning of the fill and since being a "Mexico" bandster I had to drive 3.5 hours to the clinic to get my fill under fluoroscope.  Oh, there are clinics that are closer but they either charge 1000 bucks for a fill or don't use fluoroscope.  You will find that if you get your band in Mexico you are like a leper in the US medical field.  Even though my doctor is in the same excellence program, graduated from Baylor and even trains US doctors.  Crap, he was on Oprah and the Dr's.  Oh well.  Anyways, I went with the Fill Centers USA and loved it.  The price was great and the treatment was too.

I got to my appointment an hour early because my husband drives faster than google maps can calculate.  I walked in the clinic and the first person I met was the Doctor.  He was so nice and explained that the nurses were working on other patients and that they would be with me in a moment.  He asked where I was from and I told him, he then asked the nurses to bump me up so that I could get back out on the road!  Needless to say I was taken back and started processing.  They took a face picture for records, measured and weighed me and I read and signed a lot of paperwork.  They then took me back. 

This was the part I was nervous about, the fill itself.  People talked about huge needles and having to sit up with it in you still and I was scared.  So scared that I made my husband go back with me.  They actually let him watch the whole thing!  I walked in and was introduced to everyone and asked some more information about my band.  They had high remarks about Dr Ortiz and that helped me not feel like the leper I mentioned before.  The doctor then had me lie down and I felt a little pin prick around my port area and then nothing.  He said that he found that it was easier on everyone if he numbed people in the port area and he won me over at that point. 

He said that he wanted to start with the starter 5cc's and see how that went. I felt a little pressure and then he asked that I sit up.  I looked down expecting to see this huge needle poking out of my belly but instead saw an iv looking line.  No worries there!  I then had to drink a cup of water.  I was expecting it to go down like butter but instead I went no where.  We waited a second and still just burping and liquid coming up and he had me then start with barium to see what was going on.  The water was hung up in my pouch and not moving.  He had me lie back down and he took it out.  He then started with 4cc and we went through the same process.  It did great.  He wanted to leave it at 4 cc since it looked like it was where it needed to be and he did not want the possibility of me going home and being too full. 

After a couple of days on liquids and soft foods I am anxious to see how regular solids work in my new filled band.  I know that I am not at the "sweet" spot yet since that usually takes a few fills but I want to see if I have any restriction or help feeling full longer.  I will keep you updated and I am so looking forward to losing weight a little faster too!!!!! I hope.

Cursed myself.

So, I was supposed to lose 2 pounds this week to keep on track for my new mini goal but I didn't lose anything.  Nothing at all.  Not even an ounce!  I am just happy I didn't gain 2 pounds!  Really I kind of expected this since I am really close to my cycle right now and I used to gain 5 pounds each month around that time.  I also know that I could have been making a few better food choices since I knew I was in this weird time period for weightloss too.  You live and learn I guess. 

I got a call from my fill clinic yesterday and I am starting to get really excited about this next step.  I know that I won't hit that sweet spot on the first fill but I am looking forward to being that much closer to the sweet spot.  For those of you that don't know what the sweet spot is here is a description.  The sweet spot is when your fill has reached that perfect level for healthy restriction and weight loss.  You aren't hungry between meals, you eat less but you are still able to eat solid foods.  Everyone has a different Sweet spot and it also changes as you lose weight.  Dr. Ortiz says that just like when you lose weight and have to tighten your belt you will have to do the same for the band as the fat around the stomach itself starts to disappear. 

I am having my fills done under fluoroscope, which means that they will be able to actually see where my port is and watch as I swallow barium to see how the restriction is at that level.  I chose this method because without it the dr is just blindly sticking a needle into me and it is not easy to see how the restriction is.  I know that the doctors are trained to be able to "Feel" the port but to me I would just like to take all the guess work out of the whole thing.  It does coast more but I have heard that you won't need as many fills so it might even out the costs a bit.  Most US doctors are very conservative on the fills and will only do a half ounce at a time but I am hoping that with the fluoro the doctor will be able to put more in.  Most people with a 10cc band don't start getting restriction until the 5cc mark and if I have to .5cc up there that will get very frustrating and expensive. 

Wish me luck and I am hoping that the next time I post I will be 5cc's heavier and not as hungry.  I will let you know what the fill is like too.  Needles, barium.....what could go wrong!

As promised here are my "before" and surgery pics.

So I promised back in October that I would post my "before" pics and some of my surgical scars the day after the surgery.  I am sorry it has taken so long but they were on my phone and that takes a bit of effort to get on the computer.

Now you know why I needed the surgery.  I hate my body but the thing I hate the most is that huge flabby roll on the bottom.  It is called an Apron and I hate it.  Good news is that it is smaller already!

This is me post surgery 24 hours.  I was really swollen and covered in dye.  It was funny because I had the surgery to get smaller but for about a week after, until all the gas left, I was bigger than before I lost the 30 pounds!

So there you go.  I have posted very embarassing pics of my body to prove to others that they are not alone in the world.  Lots of us are fat and most of us feel ugly and helpless.  I have declared war on my body and I hope that others will follow my example.

New mini goal

As I have mentioned before I set mini goals for myself so that I am able to check things off and feel like I am actually moving in the right direction.  Everybody like to get a gold star and I am no different!  My first mini goal was to meet my weight loss goal for surgery and my new one is to be 299.9 by the first Friday of the year 2011.  I am so close and want to lose the 12 pounds this month to make it.  I am hoping that my fill on the 11th will help me meet the goal.  It would be great to enter into a new year with a new band, new outlook on life and no longer in the 300s. 

I am going to have to step it up since I am only losing 1 pound a week right now,  I figure that I need to be losing 2 pounds a week to make this goal.  So, seeing that number is already starting to freak me out!  My husband has great advice about that though...... when you start freaking out hop on the elliptical and work until you calm down.  I have been so tired and busy lately with holidays and science fairs that I have not been using it and it is starting to give me the stink eye every time I look at it.  It is so funny how an object can make me feel so guilty.  I guess I can start again tonight.  I just hope that it won't be as hard as it was the first time I got it.  Wish me luck, I am going to need it!