Tuesday, July 19, 2011

You know they mean well but.........

I have lost almost 70 lbs and apparently this is becoming a bit obvious to those that see me everyday.  It took a while for any one at work to comment either that or they were afraid to offend me by saying anything but once I hit about 50 lbs all such notions were chucked to the wind and people let loose their tongues.  Some of the things people have said have been motivational and touching and some of them have been......well, if I was not such a laid back woman I would have thought about slapping the crap out of them.  It amazes me how if you are fat or pregnant the world feels the need to comment.  It is almost as if your body is an open range and are just expected to listen to every little thing that is said to you.  At least no one as reached out and rubbed my belly like they did when I had my son.  Anyways, here are some of the comments I wish I could remember all of them and I am going to start righting down the really good and the truly bad ones to share with you guys. What are somethings that have been said to you?

The Good:
1.  You look great/ Your glowing/ I can tell you are working out- I get a lot of these general comments that are people that are letting me know they can tell that I have lost weight and that it shows.  I love these comments because you can always see the shock on their face or that they are really excited for you.  These motivate me because I love to get that external praise and recognition that I am indeed getting smaller.  They also are positive and don't make me wonder if I was ugly 70 lbs ago.

2.  You are such a motivation!-  This is another good one because it lets me know that I am not only changing my life but helping motivate others into changing theirs too.  If it is a fellow overweight person that I know would respect my choice I share my experience about my band and how it has saved my life.

3.  How are you losing so much weight- This could be a good or bad comment depending on the person that said it.  Sometimes I use it as a teaching opportunity about the band but if I don't think they are receptive or would respect my choice I use it as a teaching tool about eating right and exercising.  Some people look at me like I am throwing up in the bathroom (just a few times and not on purpose) or taking pills to crap off the weight. 

The Bad: Usually said by older women or people that you can tell are not happy for your weight loss. 

1.  Your husband must be so excited!!!!!!-  Yeah, what am I supposed to say to this?  "He sure is because I was such an ugly cow before and that is all our love is built on."  What the crap!   This makes no sense to me.   Why would you even say that to someone? You don't know my husband or the fact that he has never failed to show how much he loves me and thinks that I am beautiful and sexy.  This one really did amaze me.

2.  I bet guys are going to start hitting on you or your are blossoming into a beautiful woman-  Wow,  I am worried about this one.  I have worked so hard most of my life to build a fortress of fat around me so that I am so ugly that I would never have to worry about catching a man's eye.  (please read with the sarcasm that is dripping from these words)  Honestly, is there anything nice about telling a woman that she is too fat and ugly to be attractive to the opposite sex.  I am still a bit speechless.

3.  I can barely see you anymore/ Your melting away or The wind is just going to blow you away-  I get several of these and I know they are meant with great intentions but dang!  I am still 130 lbs overweight at no point and I in fear of my life because of the wind nor do I think that my body is just going to melt away or that I am so thin that no one can see me.  It isn't a hurtful comment but it is condescending and just plain makes me want to sit on you.


  1. I can relate. The church I attend is 80% seniors and I have heard many variations of all these things, mostly from older ladies. I also assume they mean that I used to be a hag, but now I'm okay. I wrote about it in my blog and a few people said to take it as a compliment and not read anything into it. It is hard not to.

    The good news is that eventually they will stop commenting. No one has said anything about my weight for several months. I've been at goal since December.

  2. Interesting post. I am always intrigued by your blog name...because I always feel like the fat girl on the INSIDE. go figure.

  3. I love reading your posts. You truly are inspirational! We all need to get together again soon!

  4. Great post! I think often people have no idea what to say. But you can almost always tell the people who are genuine and generally, they are going to come out just fine.

    "You are blossoming..." Really? This made me laugh because it sounds like something a 70 year old grandma would say to her 16 year old granddaughter. Ha!

  5. If people ever make comments about my husbands point of view on my weight loss I like to be equally as shocking with a comment about how good sex is now!

  6. Like Beth Ann said, I believe you will know the well meaning people even if the comments don't come out right all the time. Keep in mind, when you reach goal, people will stop commenting all together so that's something to look forward to as well.

  7. Wow! I am so glad I haven't gotten that "Your husband must be really excited"... I think I'd be inclined to say, Actually my husband is a chubby chaser and he's begged me to stop losing weight. Or "Actually, I am no longer attracted to my husband since he needs to lose a few pounds..." LOL People are wacky!

  8. This is hilarious and so on point. It's amazing what people allow to come out of their mouths.

  9. People are so inconsiderate sometimes. One time my best friend's mom was telling me how great I looked and also (in the same breath) how I'd need a tummy tuck when all was said and done. Thanks, really.