Taking that Leap

I realized last week that today is the year mark from my decision date.  It was the day that I decided that I was done with hating my self image, being embarrassed all the time and most importantly done with not being in control of my own life and health.  It took me an hour to work up the nerves to call the OCC and get set up for a date and to work with the nutritionist.  It was such a hard thing for me to do but it felt like I was freeing myself at the same time.  I am sure those of you that have made the same call know what I am talking about.  I was setting a date for when I was going to be in control of my own health and that I was going to win this war. 

I started my presurgery diet immediately since I had to lose a good amount in order to safely have the surgery.  I was told to do the low carb diet with shakes and lots of green veggies and protein.  It made it easier to follow since I knew that it would not be forever.  I think that is what always ended a "diet" for me in the first place.  Who wants to never eat carbs again, or only eat 1000 calories a day or only eat raw foods for the rest of your life.  Eventually, I would become depressed at the thought of never being able to have ice cream again and fall of the wagon.  I am glad that I no longer have to worry about that.  I do eat differently now but it is not a diet.  I eat smaller portions and try to keep them within the healthy range of things but I understand that there will be cake and ice cream and that I do like fried food but that they are treats or special foods.  Not off the menu just not a staple to my menu. 

That being said I do understand the need for diets and since I have been on a 68.5lbs loss plateau for 2 months I am taking a leap again.  I am going to do the low carb pre surgery diet for 2-3 weeks to kick start my loss again.  I am also wanting to remind myself of the rules of the band during this time ( eating slow, proteins first, chewing......) and I am hoping that during this anniversary diet I am going to not only get past the 68.5 mark but that I will be able to see just how much I have changed physically and mentally.  I am glad that the band has helped me get this far and I am ready to continue my journey until I reach my goal.  I am still amazed that I have lost almost 70 lbs and I wish that I had made that leap of faith more than a year ago.  For any of you out there that are stuck and wondering if the band is for you please read my story and know that if you use it as a tool you can have your life back.